


Seven Minutes in the Bottle

by nikkiRA



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkiRA/pseuds/nikkiRA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a quite frankly ridiculous game of spin the bottle, Lily discovers something about Sirius that ties them together, and also, somehow, seems to make him think she's his psychiatrist. Or: how Lily Evans accidentally became the Marauder's matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven Minutes in the Bottle

Sirius isn’t really sure how he got into this situation. A whole lot of alcohol, yes, but there must have been something else, some strange alignment of the stars, a curse that had been cast on the Gryffindor common room, some sort of drug snuck into the bottles of firewhiskey he had managed to procure for the evening. It had to have been something. That was the only explanation.

It is Remus’ fifteenth birthday and Sirius, James and Peter had thrown him a surprise party, partly because they knew Remus would never allow a party unless it was a surprise. Sirius had been in charge of supplies, and he had most certainly delivered. Peter had been in charge of making sure nobody in fourth year or under was able to sneak into the party. James was in charge of making sure everyone had a fun time.

James was also in charge, apparently, of advancing his own agenda, because he had proclaimed a game of spin the bottle, of all things. And somehow the room had agreed. Even Lily Evans, who had to have known that the only reason for the game was the chance that James would get to kiss her. And yet here they all were.

“And then you go into the closet!”

“That’s not how it works,” Remus, intoxicated but eloquent as ever, says.

“Yes it is,” James argues back. Remus shakes his head.

“Those are two different games. Spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.  You’re trying to combine them into seven minutes in the bottle. Or spin the heaven. Or –” He hiccoughs.

“Remus is right,” Lily says. “It’s a muggle game, Potter.”

_“Fine,”_ James says. “Seven minutes in the bottle it is, then.”

“Are we going to be playing by muggle rules or are we going to perform shrinking spells and physically throw people into the bottle?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Somehow I doubt a bunch of fifteen year olds can perform a shrinking spell that will work on full grown humans, Longbottom.” Frank Longbottom sulks. “I just want to let you know I am against this.” He isn’t entirely sure why he’s against it, or why a boy who still laughs whenever someone says the word _duty_ is now suddenly condemning things because they feel “too childish,” but the whole thing seems very trite and unnecessary.

“Then don’t play,” James says, finishing the last bit of firewhiskey in the bottle and then setting it on the ground. “Ms Evans, would you like to go first?”

“Shouldn’t Remus go first? You know. The one with the birthday.” Sirius feels very annoyed at James, and he isn’t sure why. Normally James’ constant attempts at wooing Lily Evans are quite comical to him, but tonight they are just grating on his nerves. He’s annoyed that he’s in such a bad mood on one of his best friend’s birthdays, but Remus doesn’t even seem to notice. Remus doesn’t seem to notice much, not even the way Mary MacDonald has been inching steadily closer to him the entire night. Remus is very, very drunk; as much of a fuss he likes to put up about breaking the rules once the situation is laid out nice and neatly in front of him he tends to just go along with it.

“Moony, d’you wanna go first?”

Remus shakes his head. “I don’t think I’d fit in the bottle.”

Mary Macdonald giggles infuriatingly.

“Fine, I’ll go.” Before she reaches forward, Lily stops. “Wait! Everyone throw their wands into a pile on the other side of the room. No magic allowed.”

Sirius can’t help but nod. He may not particularly like Lily Evans, but he acknowledges that she is a very smart girl. Funnily enough, Lily Evans was probably one of the only people who could properly handle James, and they probably would make a good pair, if Hell ever froze over and Lily decided to give him a chance. He doesn’t doubt that James, at least, and possibly Mary Macdonald, judging by how close she has moved to Remus, would try and magic the bottle to suit their desires.

Lily sets the bottle spinning, and Sirius watches in disinterest as it spins. Next to him, he thinks he can hear James praying. Watching the bottle, Sirius sees it slow down, slower and slower. He is tired and bored.

The bottle is about to come to a stop, and Sirius almost laughs when he sees it’s about to land on James. Maybe prayers do work. But the bottle keeps going, against all laws of physics, and comes to a stop on him.

“This is a stupid game, maybe we shouldn’t play after all,” James sulks. Sirius rolls his eyes.

“If you can’t take the heat get out of the volcano, Prongs.”

“I don’t think that’s how that goes,” Peter, on his left, says.

“Yeah, why would he be in a volcano?”

“Hey, if we want to call it quits, it’s fine with me,” Sirius says. James nods.

“Yeah, all in favour of quitting –”

“No, you can’t just quit because Lily has to snog your best friend!” Mary Macdonald shouts out, and Frank, looking at Alice, agrees. Looking in annoyance at the two of them, Sirius can’t help but think that a pack of Gryffindors should be brave enough when it comes to love and not have to rely on a stupid muggle game.

“Whatever,” he mutters, standing up. Lily sighs.

“It doesn’t have to be seven minutes, though,” she says.

“What’s wrong, Evans? Don’t have the stamina?” Lily shoots him her best glare. So, for that matter, does James. Sirius can’t help but wonder what kind of situation he got himself into.

The “closet” is decided to be their dormitory, but Lily stops just outside of it. “I’m not kissing you.”

“I am hurt and offended.” He’s not, really. He has no interest in kissing Lily Evans, and not just because his best friend is in love with her. “I know what you did, Evans,” he says. Lily narrows her eyes.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes you did. You kept the bottle spinning so it didn’t land on James.”

“I did not. I didn’t even have my wand.”

“I know, which makes it all the more impressive.”

In the dim light of the landing, Sirius can see her blush. “I didn’t know you could do wandless magic.”

“I can’t do much,” she mutters.

“Enough to move a bottle.”

“Yes, well,” she snaps at him. “It was you or Potter, and you’re the lesser of the two evils, if you can believe that.”

“You really hate him, don’t you?”

“Can you blame me?”

“No,” he is surprised to hear himself say. James had gotten especially bad this year, to the point that it was even starting to annoy Sirius. “I’m sorry.”

Lily looks at him in suspicion, as if he has ulterior motives to apologizing. “Whatever. I’m still not kissing you.”

He shrugs and slumps against the wall. “That’s fine. I don’t much want to kiss you, either.”

“I know,” she says. He can almost feel the waves of smugness wafting off of her. “You fancy someone else.”

“Do I? That’s news to me.” He isn’t even lying. Sirius doesn’t have feelings for anyone, not even Rashida De Cairos, who he had made out with in a broom cupboard last week.

“You have a thing for Remus,” she says. Sirius stares at her, then bursts out laughing.

“ _Remus?_ You think I have a thing for _Remus?”_ He chuckles. “You’re losing your mind, Evans. One minute you’re doing wandless magic, the next minute you’re doing _this.”_

“Black.” Her voice is serious, suddenly, missing the mocking lilt it had had before. “It’s fine, you know. Liking Remus. Liking boys.”

“I know, Evans, but that doesn’t mean I like either. You know just because some bloke doesn’t want to snog you doesn’t mean you have to make up rumours that he’s gay.”

“Then why have you spent this whole time glaring at Mary?”

“She’s being obnoxiously obvious. Besides, she’s not his type.”

“Because she’s not you?”

Now he’s getting angry. As if the night hadn’t been shit enough. “Listen, Evans, you have no idea what you’re talking about –”

“Then kiss me.”

_“What?”_

“Then kiss me. If I have no idea what I’m talking about, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“I will not.”

“Why?”

“You – my best friend is in love with you.”

“Potter never has to know.”

“I –” Sirius is embarrassed, and he’s angry that he is. “Fine.” He steps closer, grabs her by her shoulder. Then he holds her face. Then he tries to wrap his arms around her waist. The entire time Lily just stands there, looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

“I’m waiting.”

“For fuck’s sake –” He leans down, but stops less than an inch from her face. She smells good, like strawberries and cinnamon, and he can feel her breath on his face. Then he swears rather creatively and jerks away. “You can’t –”

“I’m not going to tell anyone.”

He spins to face her. “You –”

But Lily isn’t looking at him in anger, or distaste, or hatred, or smugness. She isn’t giving him the look she usually gives him, of utter revulsion, nor is she even looking at him in pity. She’s just looking at him. He slumps against the wall, sliding down it. Lily doesn’t sit, but she leans against the wall across from him.

“M’not a fucking _poof,”_ he mutters, in a last ditch effort to throw her off. Lily snorts.

“All evidence to the contrary, Black.” But she still doesn’t sound mean.

 “I didn’t even _know,”_ he whispers. Lily shrugs.

“It happens.”

He laughs a little. “D’you think, when I was born, the fates all got together and tried to figure out how to make me the absolute worst possible heir to the Black family? I’m a Gryffindor, I’m best friends with a Potter and a werewolf, _and_ I’m a fucking shirt lifter. That’s just fucking great.”

“So he is a werewolf, then? I figured.”

Sirius freezes. He had never let that slip before; he knew it could have dire consequences. But she had already pulled one big secret out of him, and he wasn’t as on guard as he normally was. “Evans – Lily, Lily, look, you can’t –”

“Relax. I had my suspicions. It’s not like I’m going to post a story in the _Prophet –_ ‘Sirius Black in love with a werewolf! And it’s a boy! And he’s a half-blood!’”

Sirius can’t help but smile a little, although he ducks his head to try and stop her from seeing.

“Listen, Black. I don’t like you. I certainly don’t like Potter. I don’t even like Pettigrew. He’s a creepy little bugger, if you ask me. But Remus Lupin is a good person. He’s a great person. I would never do a thing to hurt him. And quite frankly, if you ever cause him harm, I will kill you.”

“I would never –”

“Oi! What the hell are you two doing?” Peter shouts up. “James is about to keel over and die from stress.”

Sirius looks at Lily. “What do we say happened?”

Lily slaps him hard across the face. “What the fuck Evans!”

“Sorry.” She really doesn’t look sorry at all. “But now we have substantial proof that nothing happened.”

Sirius touches his cheek. “I think they would have believed us anyway.” Lily just shrugs.

Following her down the steps, he can’t help but think that maybe Lily Evans wasn’t as bad as he initially thought. Anyone he could trust with Remus’ secret couldn’t be that bad.

James is glaring daggers at him. Sirius looks around. “Where’s Moony?”

Peter grins. “He finally picked up on what Mary was doing.” He gestures with his chin over to the corner, where Sirius can just make out two shapes in the dark. He knows Lily is looking at him but he doesn’t meet her eyes.

“I’m going to bed,” he mutters.

* * *

Lily hears him and James arguing the next day in the corner of the common room the boys have claimed as their own. Remus and Peter are playing chess and Sirius is lounging in one of the comfy chairs. James has been pacing back and forth for minutes.

“For fuck’s sake, Potter, I’ve already fucking told you nothing happened. Do you really think Evans would kiss me?” Despite everything, she is happy Sirius is telling the truth. She had been afraid that maybe he would exaggerate, formulate a story and brag about his ‘conquest.’

But then again, she thinks, glancing over at Remus, he has no reason to.

“I was _sure_ the bottle was going to land on me.”

“Did you tamper with it?”

“Even if I had have, it obviously didn’t work very well. But I didn’t. I could have _sworn_ it was aimed on me!”

“I guess the world just doesn’t want you to snog Evans, Prongs.”

Sirius is keeping her secrets. She wonders if it’s to spare James’ feelings or because she’s keeping his.

James runs his hands through his hair, apparently a nervous habit as well as his preferred way of flirting. “Sirius, if you’re lying –”

“I’m not fucking lying! Jesus Christ, James, I don’t even like –”

Sirius cuts off, paling. Remus’ head snaps up quickly, his hand accidentally knocking over his king.

“Pads,” James starts, but Sirius throws his head back and laughs. None of them are fooled by it; it is too forced.

“Evans, idiot. I don’t even like Evans.”

Lily knows this hadn’t been what he was going to say, and judging from the look on James’ face, James knows it too.

“Sirius.” His voice is softer than Lily has ever heard.

“James,” Sirius says, mocking him. James sighs and sits down.

“That technically means you resign, Moony,” Peter says. Remus, who hasn’t looked away from Sirius this entire time, finally turns his head.

“What?”

“You knocked over your king.”

Remus looks at the chessboard in front of him. “Right. Guess I give up, then.” He stands up. “M’going to bed.” Sirius’ eyes follow him as he goes, and James stares at Sirius the entire time. Maybe, she thinks, James Potter isn’t as thick as he seems.

“I won,” Peter says. Sirius scowls.

* * *

Lily manages to go almost a year without ever having to say a word to Sirius Black that isn’t “stuff it” until one day he corners her as she is coming back from the library. It is a few days after Sirius sent Severus into the Willow, and even if she didn’t already know that she could tell something was seriously wrong. Sirius’ eyes are red from lack of sleep and crying, his hair is messier than it usually is, and he looks, quite frankly, absolutely mad.

“Evans –”

Lily storms right past him.

“Evans _please –_ Lily –”

She ignores him, something she has gotten quite good at over the years. Sirius Black doesn’t give up easily, she has learned, and she readies herself for the inevitable badgering that will likely occur all the way back to the common room. But that doesn’t come.

_Don’t look,_ she tells herself. _You’re just going to get yourself into trouble._

She doesn’t listen, of course. She turns around to see what could possibly have stopped Sirius Black from following and sees him slumped to the ground, face buried in the knees he has his arms wrapped around. Lily doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything more pathetic.

“You are pathetic, Black.”

He doesn’t say anything. Despite everything that’s happened she can’t help but feel a little sorry for him. She must be getting soft.

“What could you possibly want from me?”

Sirius looks up at her. “I don’t know what to do.”

“And you thought I would be the person to ask?”

“No one will talk to me.”

“I don’t really blame them,” she spits at him. Any remaining colour that Sirius had in his face drains out of it.

“You know?”

“Severus told me.” Told her wasn’t exactly the right way to put it, probably. He had spat it at her, more accurately, a smug little smirk on his face, acting as if she and Sirius Black were friends of some sort. She hadn’t talked to Severus since that day he had called her that name but two days ago he had stormed up to her, _I knew it, you never believed me but I knew it, he’s a goddamn werewolf._ Lily had stared at him in shock and surprise. She had known, actually, but she didn’t tell him that. Even when he was still her best friend she didn’t think she could trust him with Remus’ secret. Maybe she always knew Sev would betray her one day.

She had pleaded with him not to tell, and he had glared at her. _I told Dumbledore I wouldn’t. But Black, that poor excuse for a human – he almost killed me._ Severus had laughed, an awful, horrid laugh that made Lily’s skin crawl. He had told her everything that happened, and if she hadn’t believed him them, that night in the common room, when James had punched Sirius square in the face and Sirius didn’t even try to do anything about it, Lily knew he was telling the truth.

Sirius, already slumped, seems to shrink even more. “What do I do, Lily?”

“Again, I don’t know why you decided to come to _me.”_

“Because you’re the only one…”

He trails off, but Lily, remembering their conversation from a year ago, finishes the thought. “I’m the only one who knows how you feel about him?”

She takes the tears that start falling from his eyes as a yes. It is disconcerting, watching Sirius Black cry.

“If you’re in love with him then why did you do this?”

Sirius shakes his head.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m not interested in making excuses.”

Lily huffs in annoyance. “Trust me, Black, nothing you say will make what you did any more understandable. Just because you have a reason doesn’t mean you have an excuse.”

Sirius pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and hands it wordlessly to Lily.

_Sirius:_

_Rumours have reached us here about the way you have been conducting yourself. If you were a disgrace before, there are no words to describe what you are now._

_As my oldest son I was willing to have you back if you repented, but I can assure you, now, that if I see you again the consequences will be dire. You are a mark on the noble name of Black and I will not stand for it. If I hear word of any further abuse towards Regulus the consequences will be disastrous for you and those creatures you associate with._

_Walburga Black_

Lily swallows, her mouth suddenly very dry. “Is this your… mother?”

Sirius nods. “Reg must have told them he found me snogging Gideon Prewett in a broom cupboard.” He tries to laugh, tries to revert back to the old Sirius Black, but the noise that escapes him sounds more like a sob.

Remus had told her a lot about Sirius, but he had never gone in depth about his family; he had always said it wasn’t his place. Lily had always known Sirius didn’t exactly get along with his family, but she had never thought it was anywhere near this bad.

“Surely she doesn’t really mean –”

“Oh, she does. My mother would kill me without blinking an eye.”

“This doesn’t really seem like a new thing, Sirius.” It might be the first time she has ever called him by his first name, but she refuses to call him by the name he shares with a group of people who had threatened to kill him.

“It’s not. My mother used to threaten to kill me every other day. She crucio’d me before I ran away.” The easy way he says this makes Lily flinch. “But… she’s never threatened to harm anyone else. She’s never threatened any of my friends. Not once.”

“Is that why –”

“Do you know,” he starts. His voice is angry, but it doesn’t mask the pain in his voice nearly as well as he probably hoped it would. “That whenever Reg would do something that would piss her off I would say it was me so she wouldn’t hurt him? I protected that boy for eleven fucking years, and then he gets sorted into Slytherin and suddenly he forgets about all those fucking bruises on my face that were supposed to be for him.” His lower lip shakes. “I always thought… I always thought maybe he would come to his senses and come back. Guess not.”

Lily takes a shaky breath. “You wanted to get back at him.”

“And do you know the _worst goddamn thing?_ ” He turns to look at Lily, eyes wide, hands shaking. “I couldn’t even do it to Reg. I chose Snape because Reg fucking idolizes him and I wanted to scare the lot of them but I couldn’t even fucking target Reg because whenever I thought of him I thought of the way he would climb into my bed at night when my mother was screaming and make me tell him stories.”

Very quietly, Lily says, “I haven’t spoken to my sister in two years.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Still, Sirius. I’m not about to go send her to her death at the hands of my _best friend.”_

“I know.”

“So what do you want from me? Do you want me to talk to Remus? Because I won –”

“No. I don’t. Remus will likely never talk to me again and I wouldn’t blame him for a second.”

“Then what?”

“Remus won’t look at me. James won’t talk to me. Peter does anything James fucking tells him to. I’ve started sleeping in the goddamn common room, because I don’t want to impose on them anymore. I just…” He ducks his head, embarrassed.

“You wanted someone to talk to.”

Sirius almost smiles. “You are the smartest in the class, Evans.”

“Only because you and Potter never actually try.”

Sirius wipes at his nose. “I’m just so fucking _lonely._ And I know I deserve it but I was starting to go mad.”

Lily just nods, unsure of what she can possibly say anymore.

“I know you don’t like me, Evans, but… thank you.”

“This doesn’t make us friends, Sirius.”

“I know. But you haven’t called me Black since you read that letter.”

“Don’t read into this,” she tells him.

“I miss him,” Sirius says as Lily is walking away, so quietly she thinks she probably wasn’t supposed to hear. She doesn’t know who he means: Remus, James, or Regulus.

“Sleep in your bed tonight, Sirius,” she says. “It won’t do you any good to throw out your back.” He looks up at her. “I want to win the cup, this year. We have to beat Slytherin, after all.”

Sirius just nods.

* * *

“You know, they say the best way to catch a werewolf is with a library.”

Remus smiles. “Hello, Lily.”

Lily sits down next to Remus in the back of the library. “How are you?”

“Oh, just fucking peachy, can’t you tell?”

“Quite the bite you have on you, Mr. Lupin.”

“You’re very cheery today.”

“I figured you’d need it.”

“You always were the smartest of us all, Lily.”

“You know, that is the second time today I’ve been told that.”

“I’m sure you deserved it.”

Lily reaches over and shuts the book that Remus is still determinedly trying to read. “Remus.”

“So you are here for something.”

“He came to talk to me today,” Lily says, very quietly, not just because they’re in the library.

“And you let him?”

“It’s hard to be annoyed at someone who looks as pitiful as that.”

“I’m not –”

“Look, I’m not here trying to get you to… I don’t know, forgive him. You know I’m not exactly Sirius Black’s number one fan. I just want you to know I’m here if you ever want to talk. I always am.”

“What did he say to you?”

“A lot. It’s not my place to repeat it, Remus.”

Remus nods. “How did you find out, anyway?”

“Severus told me.”

“Do you still talk to him?”

Lily traces the raised letters on the book in front of her. “Not if I can avoid it.”

“I’m sorry. About that.”

Lily shakes her head. “I should have seen it coming,” she whispers. “All the stuff he did, the people he hung out with… I shouldn’t have been surprised.”

When she looks up at Remus she is surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Should I have seen this coming?”

She grabs his hand. “Remus. I utterly despise Sirius Black. You know that.”

“Yeah.”

“So then you’ll understand the gravity of what I’m about to say.

“Sirius and James are a hive mind. They are… brothers. Annoying, obnoxious brothers, but brothers nonetheless. From six years of watching them, I have no doubt that Sirius would die for James, and James would do the same for him.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Sirius Black would kill for you, Remus. Like, cold blood murder with his bare hands. Sirius would do anything for you. James and Sirius are basically the same person, but you and him… you make each other better. You complement each other. You two are something else entirely. And I’m not doing this because I have any sympathy in my heart for Sirius Black. I’m saying this because I know for a fact that you are not happy right now, which of course makes sense, but I can also tell that you will not be happy again if you don’t talk to him again.”

Remus looks at her. “What did he say to you?”

“Nothing, really –”

“ _Lily.”_

“He’s in love with you.”

Remus freezes. “What?”

“Don’t tell him I told you, Remus. Regardless of how I feel about him, I keep the secrets people tell me. But this isn’t making anybody happy.”

“When did he… when did you…”

“Last year. During what I believe you called “Seven Minutes in the Bottle.”

And then, weirdly, Remus starts to laugh. Remus laughs to the point where he struggles for breath. “What is so _funny?”_

“Are you trying to tell me I kissed Mary MacDonald for _no reason?”_

Lily blinks. “You’ve lost me.”

“After seven minutes had passed I thought… well I thought you two must have been doing something that made you lose track of time.”

“You thought I was making out with Sirius Black?”

“You were drunk! I was drunk! I thought maybe you were doing it to piss off James. So I thought, well, I may as well, so I kissed her.”

“So you…” Remus nods. Lily rolls her eyes. “I have never met a group of boys so _stupid_ before.”

“Ouch.”

“I mean it, Remus. Between you and Sirius and your sad, misunderstood love story, James’ unrelenting obsession with me, and Peter’s uncanny ability to blow up cauldron’s, it amazes me that the four of you have gone this far unscathed.”

“Do you call this unscathed?”

“There would be a lot less scathing if you took a turn out of James’ book and obnoxiously flirted with Sirius until he hexed you.”

Remus smiles. “Are you saying I should be more like James?”

“Ugh. Forget I said anything.” She gets up to leave, but Remus grabs her by the arm.

“Lily. How… how is he?”

“I can honestly say that I have never seen anything more pitiful than Sirius Black. He’s dying without you, Remus.”

“And James.”

“Yes. But more so you.”

“I’m not ready.”

“You don’t have to be. Like I said, Remus, I’m not here on behalf of Sirius. I’m here on behalf of you. If you never want to talk to Sirius Black again I won’t lose any sleep over it. But I know you will.”

Remus lets go of her. “Thanks, Lily.”

She turns back to him as she’s walking away. “If you do talk to him again, please pass on the message that I am not his goddamn psychiatrist, and I would like to cancel next year’s appointment, whenever that may be.”

Remus laughs.

* * *

When Remus gets to the common room James and Peter are there playing wizard’s chess, and judging from the shattered pieces scattered around Peter, the game was not even close.

“Heya, Moony,” James says.

“Remus, help me, please,” Peter begs as his knight is smashed to pieces in front of him.

“No can do, Wormtail. I’m going upstairs.”

“Sirius is –”

“I know.”

James finally turns to look at him. “What?”

Remus just shrugs. James stares at him for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Pete and I will hang out down here.”

Remus thanks them and then heads upstairs. He stands outside the door for almost five minutes before he finally works up the courage to go inside.

Sirius is lying in his bed with the curtains drawn when Remus enters. He waits for him to say something, to peek his head through, to see who it is, but his four-poster doesn’t move, so Remus, heart beating in his throat, opens them to reveal Sirius Black, a book open in front of him. Remus watches him for a few moments, and can’t help but notice that Sirius’ eyes do not move, just stare at a particular part on the page with such intensity that Remus thinks a hole might appear.

“Sirius.”

Sirius doesn’t look at him, but he does close the book.

“Hi.”

“Can I sit down?”

Sirius shifts, and Remus sits down across from him. Sirius still hasn’t looked him in the eye.

“Your shrink came to see me today.”

“Shrink?”

“Lily.”

Sirius pales. “Oh. What did she, uh. Did she…”

“She didn’t really tell me much.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sirius looks much more relaxed, and Remus can’t help but feel a little guilty that he isn’t being entirely truthful. But, he thinks, it’s not exactly like he owes Sirius the truth.

“Lily seems to be under the impression that I can’t be happy without you.”

Sirius swallows. “Do you disagree?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” He isn’t going to tell him that he hasn’t gotten a good night sleep the past few days, nor is he going to tell him that the thought of his future without Sirius Black is too bleak to even think about. He has the upper hand, for once, and he can’t forgive Sirius that easily.

“Moony –”

Remus holds up a hand. “Sirius, what could you possibly say that I haven’t already heard?”

Sirius opens his mouth to say something. Remus can remember Lily’s words, _He’s in love with you,_ and for a second Remus thinks he’s about to actually tell him, but Sirius shuts his mouth and shakes his head.

“There’s nothing else I can say, Moony.”

Remus can’t seem to hide the disappointment from his face, because Sirius sits up and quickly talks again. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, or anything –”

“Sirius…” Lily had been right. Remus has never seen anyone look quite as sad and pathetic as Sirius Black does at this moment, and quite frankly it’s breaking his heart.

“Actually… there is something I want to say. If that’s all right.”

As Remus has absolutely no idea what to say, he’s actually quite thankful. He nods at Sirius to continue.

“In first year, do you remember, me and James asked you to help us because we had managed to glue ourselves together?”

“Considering the placement of your hand, it would be hard for me to forget.”

“I did that on purpose.”

“What?”

“I stuck us together. I wanted to talk to you and I didn’t know how to just start up a conversation so James let me stick myself to him so I would have a reason to talk to you. I mean, the hand placement was an accident. I didn’t realize the spell would work that quickly. But the rest of it was planned.”

Remus blinks, and all that he can really think to say is, “James is a better friend than I think anyone gives him credit for.”

“And – and do you remember, in second year, after we found out you were a werewolf but before we had told you we knew, and every time you would get up in the middle of the night I would always follow you to make sure you were okay and you never knew why?”

“I just thought you liked listening to me piss, to be honest.” It’s so easy, talking to Sirius; it had only been a few days but he had forgotten how easy it was, to talk to Sirius. “Why are you telling me this?”

Sirius looks like he’s about to cry again. He sniffs, wiping impatiently at his eyes. “My whole goddamn world revolves around you, Moony. Every single second of my fucking life and I hate myself for what I did and I know I don’t deserve to ask _anything_ from you but please, if you’re never going to talk to me again, please tell me now. Please just let me know. I don’t deserve it but you’ve always been a better person than me so please, Remus, just… don’t leave me hanging here. If it’s goodbye please just… tell me. I’ll go back and grovel at my mother’s feet and maybe Dumbledore will let me switch houses if I ask because you are the only thing I have going for me –”

_He’s in love with you,_ she had said, and she was right, of course, and he knows it, because it’s so obvious, now. They had been so stupid and so blind, all those years of fumbling around each other, that little bubble they had somehow constructed between the two of them that not even James had access to, the way Remus would lie in bed and listen to Sirius’ gentle snores in the next bed over and the way Sirius would always touch him, which in retrospect was very blatantly obvious. They were so, so obvious, had been for years; how had they never seen it before?

“Let’s get one thing straight – even if I were never to talk to you again, I would not under any circumstances allow you to go back to them. I would just tie you to the bed and glare overpoweringly at you.”

Sirius smiles the tiniest bit and Remus tries to ignore the sudden image in his mind of Sirius tied to the bed. And then, because he is curious, and maybe because he likes having power over Sirius, he asks what he’s been wondering.

“If… if I were never to talk to you again… what would you do?” He’s being cruel, and he knows it, but he can’t help it, he has to know. A decently large part of him can’t help but doubt what Lily said. There’s no way. This is Sirius Black. Sirius Black, who was the first of them to kiss a girl. Sirius Black, who would flirt obnoxiously with him and get his hopes up, before turning and saying the exact same thing to James. Sirius Black, his best fucking friend.

Sirius seems to shrink in front of him and he feels immediately guilty.

“I would stop existing, Moony.”

And Remus believes him.

* * *

 

“How did you do it?”

Lily is sitting in the library, working on a Charms essay that just won’t come out right, when James Potter corners her. She scowls.

“Do what?”

Much to her dismay, James sits down. “I’ve been trying to get Sirius to admit he’s had a hard on for Remus since second year.” Lily grimaces and James has the decency to look sheepish. “Er, sorry. That could probably have been worded in a less vulgar way.”

“Do you think? Why do you think I had anything to do with it?”

“Remus told me.”

“Huh. So Black finally told you?”

“No, I walked in on him and Remus snogging on his bed, but at this point I’ll take what I can get.”

Lily can’t help but smile. She’s happy for Remus, and if she searches deep down inside of herself she’s probably happy for Sirius, too. But she’s really, really happy that she was able to somehow do something that James Potter couldn’t.

“So how did you do it?”

“I didn’t mean to. But during that stupid goddamn spin the bottle game you wanted so desperately to play he kept being obnoxious and annoying –”

“As Sirius usually is –”

Lily glares at him. “Don’t interrupt.” James makes a motion as if he’s zipping his mouth shut. “And he said he didn’t want to kiss me and I said I knew that because he had a thing for Lupin.”

“Well, sure, you had the luxury of doing that, if I had have just come out and say that he would have punched me in the face.”

“And I would have cheered him on.”

James smiles. It’s more of a reflex, really, to insult him. James Potter had significantly lowered his level of annoying this year. Lily could count the number of times he had asked her out on only one hand.

Suddenly James sobers up. “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

“Well, I was planning on publishing a story in the Prophet called, ‘Disinherited Black Heir Gets Cozy with Werewolf Remus Lupin!’ but if you’d rather I didn’t…”

James smiles again. This is the second time James Potter has given her a genuine smile. She has to admit it looks nice on his face, much better than his usual smirk. “Thank you, Evans.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s not like I meant to play matchmaker to your stupid little group. Certainly not for Sirius Black.”

“You’re just naturally good.”

“I guess.” This is the longest she’s ever talked to Potter without getting into a fight. This is the longest she’s ever talked to Potter one on one. It’s hard to ever find him without Sirius.

“Say, if you’re that talented, do you think you could get me a date?”

Lily closes her book. “Well, it was good while it lasted.”

“You haven’t even heard me out!”

“I have a funny feeling I know what you’re going to say.”

“You won’t know if you’re right unless you listen. And I know you like being right.”

He has her there. He follows her out of the library. “Try me, Potter.”

“So, this girl. She is delightfully funny and witty and one time I saw her punch a known Death Eater in the face, so she’s clearly pretty tough, too.”

“I think I know this girl. Has she had to put up with an obnoxious, arrogant dick for six years?”

James is easily able to match her stride, and he comfortably keeps up with her. “He prefers to call himself perseverant and helplessly in love, actually.”

Lily rolls her eyes, but her heart is beating fast. James Potter has asked her out a thousand times before, but never like this. Those times she had felt like a conquest, a difficult problem he wanted to win at. But now he’s on his own; there are no crowds to show off in front of or cheer him on, and he’s never done this before, never complimented her in such a way that makes it seem like he actually cares about and is genuinely interested in her. She doesn’t find it nearly as annoying as she wishes she would.

“But that is a good point, O Prolific Matchmaker; she is incredibly patient, as is shown by the fact that she has only hexed him six times.”

“You’ve kept count?”

“A hex a year. Sirius wants to make it a national holiday.”

“She will try to assign a set date.”

“And don’t forget she is incredibly kind, even to first years who don’t know their place –”

“You cannot claim chairs, Potter, they belong to everyone in Gryffindor –”

“And she is the most beautiful girl in school, of course.”

“Aw, Potter. You really should tell McGonagall how you feel.”

James bursts out laughing, and Lily is proud. It was a pretty good joke.

“Nah, Sirius claimed McGonagall first year. Should have known right then and there, really.”

“You’re awful.”

“So you’ve told me.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, but his voice is light. “So, what d’you think, Evans? Think you can get me a date?”

“I don’t think even my skills could work for you, Potter.”

“You don’t think this wonderful, marvellous girl will go out with me?”

She snorts. “Not likely, Potter.” It takes her a few steps to realize he’s not beside her anymore. She turns around to see him standing in the middle of the hall, looking at her in what can only be described as glee.

“Not likely? But not impossible?”

She rolls her eyes, tries to backtrack. “Nice try, Potter.”

“No no, you said _not likely._ That is very different from _impossible_ and _fuck off straight to hell_ and _not in a million years,_ which are all very disheartening answers I have heard from you.”

She can’t help it – she laughs. James literally lets out a _whoop_ and bounds in front of her, walking backwards so he can look at her. “I made you laugh, Evans.”

“No you didn’t, I was laughing _at you,_ it is completely different.” _Wipe that stupid smile off of your face, Lily._

“No, admit it, I made you laugh. I made you laugh and you said not likely. This is your way of proposing, isn’t it?”

“Yes, you’re right. I need you, James Potter, please marry me and let me bear you lots of children.”

They have reached the Fat Lady. Lily crosses her arms over her chest. “Admit it, Lily. You’re falling in love with me. In an unexpected and yet totally planned turn of events, it is happening.”

“How can something be unexpected and yet totally planned?”

James smirks, but it’s a different smirk than normal. This time it’s a smirk that makes her feel included. She doesn’t know how someone can have so many different smiles, and she doesn’t know how they can make her feel so many different things. She is very confused and she’s not entirely certain she minds.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

“Love doesn’t make sense, Evans.”

She shakes her head and pushes past him into the common room.

“You’ll see, Evans!”

She turns around before she climbs up to her dorm.

“Not likely,” she says, giving him a smirk that would put even him to shame.

James literally glows.

* * *

A year later Lily is reading in the common room when Sirius Black drops into the chair across from her.

“Can I help you?”

“I believe it’s our yearly appointment.”

She smiles in amusement. “I believe I cancelled that.”

“Yeah, well, your secretary sucks.”

“I don’t need to know about your sex life, Sirius.”

Sirius laughs, the booming, barky laugh she has somehow come to appreciate. “Oh, Evans, that was _vulgar!_ Ten points to Gryffindor!”

“You can’t give out points, Sirius.”

“Fine, then give yourself points.”

“I am not giving myself points for vulgarity.”

Sirius leans back. “Oi! Prongsie! Give your girlfriend ten points for vulgarity!”

“Ten points to Gryffindor!”

Lily rolls her eyes. “James! Ten points from Gryffindor for your blatant disregard for the rules.”

“Ten points to Gryffindor for your beauty.”

“ _Fifteen_ points from Gryffindor for your big head.”

“Ten points –”

“Jesus Christ, Potter, she’s already going out with you, you can stop your lame ass flirting.”

James flips Sirius off and goes back to what he assures Lily is lecturing first years on the importance of completing their homework. Sirius turns back to Lily.

“So, about my yearly appointment.”

“I thought I cancelled that.” Remus appears over Sirius’ shoulder, leaning his hip against the chair. Sirius leans ever so slightly into his side.

Lily turns back to her book. “Yeah, well, you suck, apparently.”

“Yes, but I thought we were talking about Sirius’ much needed therapy appointments.”

Lily closes her book and stands up. “All right, that’s enough blow job talk for one night. Good night, boys.”

“Wait! What about my appointment?”

“I’m not your fucking shrink, Black!”

“But I’m in desperate need of it! You heard Remus! And he would know!”

“Why don’t you get him to psychoanalyze you?”

Sirius smirks. “We somehow always end up with fewer clothes than when we started.”

Lily drops her book and clamps her hands over her ears. “I did not sign on for this.”

James appears, grabs her around the waist. “Sure you did. You date one, you date us all!”

“I for one am not interested,” Sirius remarks from the chair. Remus laughs.

“I second that notion.”

James kisses her cheek. “Guess that leaves me and Pete.”

“I _definitely_ did not sign on for Pettigrew.”

Peter looks up from where he was studying in the corner. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing,” she tells him. James tucks her hair behind her ear.

“Want to go upstairs?” He asks with a smirk. Lily smiles.

“ME AND REMUS CLAIM IT FIRST,” Sirius yells, bounding out of the chair and grabbing Remus by one of his wrists.

“For fuck’s – YOU TWO ALWAYS GET – they’re not listening. They’re gone. Fuck this. We need more dormitories. If I have to walk in on them shagging one more fucking time –”

Lily kisses him. “We’ll make up a schedule,” she whispers.

James smiles, runs a thumb over her cheek. She is expecting him to say something particularly corny, in James Potter style, but as he stares down at her all he says is, “I’m going to booby trap Padfoot’s bed.” He steps away, grinning.

“James!”

“No, no, Lily, I’ve got a half-formed idea in my head, I’ve got to work it out, I’ve got to – WORMY! C’MON PETE WE’VE GOT WORK TO DO!”

“Ten points from Gryffindor for planned pranking!”

“You can’t prove anything!”

Lily has literally no idea what the hell she’s gotten herself into, but she can’t say she’s not happy about it.


End file.
